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So about 4 months ago I went to the dermatologist to have my yearly skin check since I am so pastey I'm almost transluscent. I had this small bump on my lip that wouldn't go away so I had the physician's assistant take a look. she called it a pre cancerous lesion. She said it was no big deal, it could sit on my face for 40 years and never turn into skin cancer. I believe her exact words were "1%". So she froze it off and said "come back in two months and we'll do it again if it comes back. Well four months later it came back. I hadn't given it another thought, except to book an appt to go in and have it frozen off again. So I'm sitting in the chair and "Julia" - a different physician's assistant comes in and starts poking around and looking at it with a magnifying glass.
Julia: "I need to do a biopsy."
Me: Why?
Julia: It looks suspiscious
Me: What? What do you mean 'suspiscious'?
Julia: It looks like skin cancer. It doesn't look like a lesion. Lesions don't come back.
Me:WHAT? The other PA said it's very common for them to come back...
Julia: It's not. It looks like skin cancer. We'll take a biopsy, in ten days we should have the results. Here's a brochure."
Me: What the hell am I going to do with a brochure?
Julia: It will tell you about skin cancer. Listen, I can tell you are worried that you are going to have a giant hole in your face.
Kim: WHAT?!!
Julia: We're only going to take a biopsy and if it comes back as cancer then we do surgery. It will scar, but it won't leave a giant hole in your face - I can tell you are worried about that."
Kim: Um, no actually I wasn't even thinking of that I was kinda stuck on the term "SKIN CANCER" and the fact that you just told me you think I have it!
Julia: I'm worried you have skin cancer too! You are very fair....Well I will have the dermatological surgeon come in and take a look and take the biopsy. I don't touch the facial area. It's better that way for you, and for me.
Kim : WHAT?!!!
Julia: the dermatologist will be in shortly
Kim: I think that's a fabulous idea. Let's get another opinion besides yours.
Julia: Okay, but she usually agrees with me
Kim: Okay....um....I don't know anything about skin cancer...
Julia: That's why I gave you a brochure. Don't worry my friend. You are going to be fine.
Kim: (in my mind I was thinking "don't call me 'friend' you quack - you just told me I have skin cancer") I said nothing out loud though. there was mostly just the proverbial cricket chirping in the background. Then she stuck me with a needle in my lip. So much for freezing anything off.
Julia: Make yourself comfortable and read up on your brochure while I go get Dr. Romine (who is supposed to be one of the best)
At this point I am nearly on the verge of tears. What the? What just happened?
Dr. Romine comes in, I'm sure I have this deer in the headlights look on my face...
Dr. Romine: Hi Kim it's so nice to see you! How are you today?
Me: she just said I have skin cancer.
Dr. Romine then takes a look.... and says that she can't tell me 100% for sure until she gets the biopsy, but it does look like skin cancer. Basil Cell Carcinoma to be exact. What the heck is that?
Julia: If I could get skin cancer that's the kind I would want
Kim: You make it sound like some kind of door prize!!
Julia: It's the kind that doesn't spread.
Kim: Is it the kind that's fatal?
Dr. Romine: No. We do a simple surgery and remove it and then you're done. Here's a brochure on the surgery. It has a high success rate and has the best cosmetic results.
While she is telling me this she is brushing the hair off my face and rubbing my arm, trying to be compassionate and comforting. Too late. Where was she when Ms. Insensitive was telling me I have skin cancer and talking about giant holes in my face and shaving things off in surgery?!!
Well now I know that even if it is skin cancer I'm not going to die. But the damage was already done by Julia who needs help with her bedside manner!
The dr said the biospy could always come back benign, but she doesn't think it will. Whatever. I guess we will see.
My mother in law says maybe if it is skin cancer and they give me the surgery and shave my top lip off I can get lip implants and look like Angelina Jolie. :) My mother in law is a funny lady.
Anyway. I think skin cancer is the only kind of cancer I haven't obsessed about. Now we can get that one out of the way. :)
I should know something in about a week. Even if it's cancer, it's not the deadly kind apparently. I need to study up on skin cancer. I use spf 70 - how do you get skin cancer using spf 70?
I'm much better now, this is something I can make a joke out of and laugh about now, but in the moment with Julia, I was taken off guard and totally freaked out.
Now I have a lovely hole on my top lip. :) Hopefully it's benign and they won't have to take anymore of my lip! :)