Shining Time Station

Well, I went to see the midwife. Yes we are using a Certified Nurse Midwife this time. We're not doing a home birth, as this one will be a VBA2C (Vaginal Birth after 2 C Sections), and VBACS are illegal at home in AZ. I LOVE my CNM - she is awesome! I love that she believes and sees birth as a natural process, not a medical procedure. I love that her vbac success rate is over 90% - which is SOOOOO important to me. This is quite possibly going to be one of the most challenging things I will ever do, and we've spent over two years (since Thomas was two weeks old) researching, discussing, praying about vbacs vs. repeat c sections. We both feel that this route is the best route, the safest for Baby and me, and the right one for us.
James's birth was an unavoidable emergency c section. I'm grateful for technology and that we had that option or else both of us would likely be dead. However, it was a traumatic experience as the epidural wore off in the middle of the surgery (they didn't give me enough),and I started to feel everything and I wasn't mentally and emotionally prepared for it (who is ever prepared for an emergency c section?), and then they couldn't stop the bleeding (happens sometimes when it's an emergency c) and I became horribly anemic. After the surgery they wouldn't give me anything for the pain, which is not good after major abdominal surgery. I'm allergic to codeine, so they didn't want to risk anything me being allergic to anything else (This was New York by the way) and croak in my room (exact words). So it was extremely difficult.
With Thomas it was elective. My dr. was a you know what, but also a great surgeon. He convinced me that if I opted for a vbac my uterus would explode and I would die. Instead of educating myself, I trusted him. After the surgery, which went amazingly well, he said "I'll deliver one more after this and then I'm tying your tubes. You can't have more than 3 c sections." I was so angry......While thesurgery went well, after I got home I hemorrhaged twice and ended up back in the hospital, and dangerously anemic. It was very emotionally taxing.
So the VBAC journey began.
After much reasearching and fasting and praying, we are very confident in our decision to do a VBAC. I've never felt so right about anything except going on a mission, and marrying Jeff. I still am nervous, as I'll be doing it all natural no meds!! But we have an awesome doula who I trust to help us learn new pain management techniques. She's a great support. I just need to work through the fears and trust my body.
I had an appt yesterday and she said that I am measuring large, so there is a chance that I might be further along than I think - 3-4 weeks farther. We'll see though in 3 weeks when we have THE ultrasound. I would love to be further along! Then we'll have our baby here sooner!
I think it's a boy. I am 97% sure it's another boy.